That night as I was recovering from my viral, after the refreshing tea Dr. Nidhi also gave me a red rose. I had just got back to hospital and the next day met with a minor car accident. Guess some bad spell of health had struck me! Thankfully no one was injured in the minor accident except for my leg which is now covered with a cast. Dr. Mallika and Dr. Ranganath reached right in time to help me get back home. And caring as ever Dr. Mallika strictly instructed no leg movement for a few days. As I lay on the bed with a cast, Dr. Nidhi stormed in & bombarded me with a host of questions enquiring about each & every minute detail about the accident, injury etc etc.  I mean it was nice to see her concerned about me but it just felt a little strange. She then told me that she wanted to join the hospital back. Dr. Mallika being a strict professional wasn’t too keen to hire her back due to her reckless & irresponsible history. But I appointed Dr. Nidhi back again because I know she is a good doctor, children love her, she has the strange way of filling up one’s empty life…she is so vibrant and energetic that one can’t just resist her positivity.
 
From thereon she would come to meet me every day at 7 am with a red rose at my house. She would meet Hiraman Kaka & make adrak ki chai serving it in a borrowed small glass from the neighboring tea stall owner. Her small gestures of changing the curtains of the room, making hare channe ki kaddi and methi muthiya (my favourite dishes) pleasantly cheered me. Though it was a bit spicy I enjoyed eating it because I couldn’t ignore Dr. Nidhi’s affection. She even treated Dr. Mallika’s brother & sister-in- law well, served them tea and snacks….kisi ko apna banana koi Dr. Nidhi se seekhe….you won’t believe it but we got so used to Dr. Nidhi ringing the door bell at 7 am that one day when she didn’t land up home, Hiraman Kaka actually questioned me, ‘kahan hai aapki alarm clock’?
 
My health was better and I decided to go to the hospital. There was some excitement and ticklish feeling within me thinking about meeting Dr. Nidhi in the hospital. But I couldn’t meet her earlier during the day because Dr. Mallika had sent her out of office to collect some papers from Government Research Lab. I was a little anxious to meet her. But seeing the preparations made by children to welcome me and getting back to the work routine, I felt my usual self. While reporting about the hospital, Dr. Mallika told me about a file being misplaced due to Dr. Nidhi’s negligence. I was really upset & scolded Nidhi but she kept refusing to accept her mistake.
 
In fact Dr. Mallika too commented how I seem to have changed…how Dr. Nidhi has been bringing about a change in my life but I chose to ignore it. But is it really true? Even Hiraman Kaka told me the same but for the better.
 
I hope life doesn’t throw any more questions at me again….this elated happiness…this void that seems to be filling….that habit which I am getting used to….I don’t know where will all this lead me to? Dr. Nidhi is trying to teach me to live, come out of my past & not harm my present or future for it. Dr. Nidhi’s care & attention does indeed make me feel good…but why? I have no reasons.

As I lay on my bed down with a viral, just thought I should pen down a few of my thoughts. Memories of Baba still run fresh on my mind. Bringing me to his house, teaching important lessons of life like the significance of a home, music being the medicine for our soul or convincing me to eat when I’m upset with him, each memory still feels like an advice he gave me yesterday.

Back to the present, suddenly life at Dr. Kotnis hospital seems to be moving fast. A fresh batch of promising interns joined the hospital. One of them, Dr. Nidhi, left the hospital in three days of joining while Priyanka got married & invited the entire hospital for the wedding.

Since I am most comfortable with my company & my loneliness, I was very uncomfortable to attend Dr. Priyanka’s wedding but Mallika, the one who never gives up insisted that I attend the wedding. Mallika is a great friend; but I have told her since 12 years that  we can never go beyond friendship, because I have stopped believing in relationships. The most precious relationship of my life – Baba betrayed me & left me with so much pain that today I’m scared & scarred. However i don’t want to loose my best friend – Mallika.

It was so strange at the wedding when Dr. Nidhi pulled me to dance with her. It was so uncomfortable but knowing Dr. Nidhi – the naughty prankster that she is; managed convincing me what nobody else could. At the wedding itself Nurse Dsouza suggested that I ask Dr. Nidhi to resume work at Dr. Kotnish hospital again as the environment and mood at a wedding would be more conducive.

Then Dr Nidhi spilled cold drink on my shirt that Dr. Nidhi can wash off the stain & she did. I was so embarrassed to hand over my shirt to Dr. Nidhi in the bathroom while I was out in my inners (ganji). And then to top it all, my shoes got stolen. I was bare feet for a long time & since I am Priyanka’s boss, her mother was embarrassed about the incident & just wouldn’t let me go despite several efforts. At last I was given someone’s pair of shoes & was asked to drop Nidhi home as her car was towed away.

As we were driving, it started raining. The October rains have a strange emotion attached; in Dr Nidhi’s words…you expect rains during the monsoons but the October rains are so unpredictable, so alive. Dr. Nidhi walked out to get drenched in the rains & to my surprise coaxed me to get drenched as well. It was one of my most beautiful moments that I experienced after years….such immense joy, so much innocence…I just let go of myself & enjoyed every drop falling on me as I relived my past.

Baba & me often got drenched in the rain & had adrak ki chai by the road.  I happened to tell dr. Nidhi this & she immediately suggested that we too look for a tea stall….& there Dr. Nidhi & me sipping hot adrak ki chai in the cold & wet monsoon..loving every bit of the contradiction of nature. Finally I gathered the guts to ask Dr. Nidhi to join back but she refused as she is going to Europe for a month.

Well I will surely miss a good Dr like Dr. Nidhi as she has the ability to fill in your life with her enthusiasm & vibrancy…the children just can’t seem to move on after Dr. Nidhi has left the hospital. But I respect her decision & wish her all the best.


Anyway I can barely sit up to write any further with the body ache. I think I have got viral fever. I will have to inform Ranganath that I will have to rest home.

As im resting, coughing & sneezing, putting cold water strips on my forehead the lights go off. Hiraman Kaka went to call the electrician & amongst this darkness emerges Dr. Nidhi holding a candle in her hand - her beauty shining in the candle light - Dr. Nidhi cancelled her Europe trip & paid a visit to me. She questioned me about Baba after watching our pictures together & I just opened my heart to her. I couldn’t stop telling her about my past, Baba….i don’t know what a calming effect Dr. Nidhi has.

And then while Dr. Nidhi & me made adrak ki chai together, we laughed more – since the past few days im have experiencing small moments of joy…as if im getting life back, the doors of life that I have shut suddenly seem to be knocking on my door to give the breeze a chance….i don’t know but i think I’m changing….why is this happening?

Still indebted to the life I'm blessed with, I will never forget Dr. Mathur who rescued me from a village to live a life of dignity and recognition. He has been the inspiration behind my professional vocation of being a Doctor. And now as I look back at the 15 years I have spent in the Dr. Kotnis General Hospital, each day still has so many experiences and lessons to teach.

After doing my MS in London, it was but natural for me to come back to India and work in the hospital set up by Mr. Mathur. Now a Chief Surgeon and Head Doctor, my life has revolved around stethoscopes, scalpers, needles, scissors and forceps. All these years, I didn't even have time to think about my personal life.

Main aur meri tanhai, that's how my life has been. Lonely! The few people close to my heart have left me and gone. With no dreams of my own, I'm just moving on for my patients, their lives and their hopes. My day begins living a life dedicated to the oath I took as a Doctor when I began with this journey.